To enable, to be an enabler, to engage in enabling, these are all one and the same the single most dangerous and damaging things that a person can do to an adult or teen child who is using and abusing drugs and alcohol. This is the sad truth of the matter. When a parent enables their son or daughter, the effectively help their son or daughter to continue to abuse drugs and alcohol.
When a parent enables a kid, they take actions that they think are helping the addict when really they are just making it so that the addict can go on continuing to abuse drugs and alcohol. When they do this they actually hurt their kids immensely. When a parent enables their kid, they do things like:
- Give the kid money for “food”
- Help pay the kid’s “rent”
- Give the kid a place to say
- Give the kid food, clothes, water, etc.
- Give the kid a phone
- Lend the kid a car
- Help the kid get a job
All of these actions are terrible mistakes for a parent to do for a drug or alcohol addicted adult kid. The key factor here is that:
- “When a parent does anything at all that in any way improves the quality of life of the addicted son or daughter they are enabling that addict and they are preventing the addict from hitting rock bottom.”
The thing with addiction is that, as long as an addict can have an okay or a passable life while abusing drugs and alcohol, they will never decide to get help and to stop abusing drugs or alcohol. This is the, “Rock Bottom Law.” This law indicates that a drug or alcohol addict must hit rock bottom before they become willing to get help for a drug or an alcohol problem, and an addict who is getting helped and enabled by their parents will never hit rock bottom and will die from an overdose before they decide to get help for their drug or alcohol problem.
The key approach that parents of addicted sons or daughters must do is apply tough love. They must completely cut their addicted sons or daughters off and absolutely refuse to help them in any way that is not immediately conducive to getting them into a treatment center. When parents do this, they actually are doing their part towards getting their addicted loved one the help that they need.